Take Me Home
by itabitaboo
Summary: Sasuke is on his way to Konoha but a certain familiar blond stands in his way. He must surpass Naruto to complete his objective but wonders if he has the strength to do so. Naruto faces Sasuke with an ultimatum that could change both of their lives. What'll Sasuke do and how will Naruto react? Spoilers tucked away inside. Read my A/N carefully at the beginning of the fic. Twoshot!
1. Take Me Home

**A/N:** This is a **SPOILER ALERT!** There is nothing _seriously_ detailed in this fic but there are general depictions of what has happened in the cannon. If you aren't up to, at least, chapter 401 in the manga or episode 141 in the anime, then don't read this because you'll be annoyed at what you've read.

**Warning:** This fic is only rated T because of some obvious violence and a bit of swearing.

* * *

**Take Me Home**

I try, but I can't help the grimace that crosses my face. I'm clutching my broken ribs and willing the pain to subside. I can't fight like this but I have to. I have no choice. My shirt is bled through and I'm starting to wonder if I'll be able to stay conscious for much longer but I know I must. I must stay awake. I must keep my eyes open, alert, and trained on the blond that I'm sparring with. Naruto has grown too skilled to be underestimated. In early years, I would pretend that he was nothing to me. I pretended that he was worthless, like I could beat him with my eyes closed but I always knew better. Naruto was always strong.

Naruto was strong because he wasn't like me. He was alone, yes, and so was I, but he had something I could never gain. He had spirit. He had _life_ whereas I was always just going through the motions. Naruto never had anyone but his spirit never broke. No hands ever reached out for him but he carried on, regardless, relying on himself. That's strength. Me… I was never strong. Even now, I'm weak. I had hands thrust at me since the day that my clan was killed but I never took them. I pushed them away, convinced I could thrive in solitude. I was wrong. I made it through life. I made it to Orochimaru. I learned from him. I mastered skills. I killed Itachi. Now, I aim to avenge Itachi and I do not fear that I don't have the _skill_. I fear that I do not have the _strength_.

Naruto always excelled and it had nothing to do with his skill but everything to do with his heart. No matter how many times he was knocked down, he stood back up. No matter how many fights he lost, he won the ones that mattered. No matter how many injuries he suffered, he protected those who needed protecting. Even when we were children, Naruto was strong and I envied him. I could run circles around him in talent but I stood next to a boy with a bright destiny and I was just a child engulfed darkness. I always knew that I was standing beside someone who would always be better than me. I knew that I would never grow like Naruto. I still haven't grown. I'm still the same frightened, abandoned child seeking refuge. Though I knew Naruto's destiny was brighter than mine, I was eager to stay at his side. I was eager to bathe in his light. I suppose that's how we became friends in the first place.

I always knew that I would meet Naruto here and I always knew that it would be luck that would have me defeat him. He is… he has _always_ been stronger than me. Sure, I've managed to break a few of his ribs in this fight but that's nothing. What matters in this fight is not broken bones or skills or weapons. What matters is this, what's happening right now. What matters is the fight that he still has left inside of him, the fight that I have never had inside of me. Where he found strength, I found hatred. Hatred doesn't breed strong men; it breeds angry men.

Sure, an angry man may have the bigger will to fight but his most important fights are easily lost. A strong man may never falter. He may never fail. He fights and he wins because he is strong and more often than not, he is faced with an angry opponent. I am just an angry man. Sure, I am smarter and more talented than everyone I've fought up until now. Losing fights hasn't gotten me where I am today. However, as I said, the angry man easily loses his most important battles. Everything up until now has meant nothing in the grand scheme of it all. This fight right here is my most important battle and I find that I am pitted against a strong man. I find that I am not strong enough myself to pass him.

No, Naruto is not weak in any sense of the word, so I must not let him slip from my sights for even a moment. I must not let him get to me. I will fight through the pain. I will fight through the exhaustion. I will kill him because I must. It is the only way to do what needs to be done. He foolishly protects what has destroyed my brother's life. He is an obstacle, so he must die. Is that easy to say? Of course not but it must be said, nonetheless. Naruto must die. I regret that _I_ must kill him but it has always been this way, hasn't it? It has always been certain that he would be my biggest obstacle and, perhaps, I would be his.

In a sudden movement, he flashes to the right and advances upon me. I can't remove my hand from my side, so I just move in tandem with him. I turn to keep us facing each other and hope that when he reaches me, I can dodge any fatal blows, although, I'm not sure Naruto has it in him to actually kill me. He comes closer and closer but he's not preparing for an attack and I wonder what the hell he's doing. How do I dodge an attack that's not being launched? I'll bet that a look of confusion flutters across my face, even if I don't want it to. Next thing I know, his hands are clamped around both of my wrists and I'm lying on the ground, him straddling me. I try not to let my face relay the excruciating pain that I feel but that's easy because he shows no sign of pain—although he's, certainly, feeling it too—and I'm eager to match his resolve.

"STOP!" he bellows and I flinch. Though, I don't mean to. The pain is forgotten and I just stare at him for a moment longer before he continues. "I don't want this," he says. His voice is much quieter but his eyes are lit up like a fire. I know he must be hurting and tired too but there is no sign of defeat in his eyes. He'll carry this fight out for the rest of his life if he has to and I can see that. I fear that he can see the defeat in _my_ eyes, so I retort quickly. I am hoping more to get myself in check rather than him, though.

"You don't always get what you want," I say coolly. His eyes narrow and I use this as an opportunity to wriggle out of his clutches but to no avail. He reacts immediately and I'm pinned back down before my wrists even lift a centimeter off of the ground.

"No, Sasuke, I don't," he agrees coldly, staring fiercely into my eyes. "You've been gone for years, so I, clearly, _do not_ always get what I want." I don't know what to say, so I just stare back at him with a blank face. I don't want him to see any of what's going on beneath. He continues on in my silence, "Why—"

"Don't you _dare_ ask me why I left again!" I shout, interrupting him, as a flourish of spontaneous emotion washes through me. I am so goddamn sick of the question. "It's obvious, dobe!" I say angrily.

His eyes light up at the use of the term 'dobe' and I curse myself for saying it. Even if it's a _mean_ word, it's oddly endearing for the two of us and I shouldn't have used it. It gives him hope. Frankly, it gives me hope too but I abandon it immediately. I don't need hope. I need luck to get me through this battle and on to Konoha to avenge Itachi. I need to be lucky enough to kill Naruto or, perhaps, lucky enough to get by _without_ killing him.

"Obvious? What?" he asks. "You just _had_ to go on some stupid search for revenge?" I know that the question is rhetorical because he already knows the answer but he pauses anyway and I just allow it to be met with my silence. "How did it feel when you got it?" he asks, far too calmly. I want to scream and shout at him. He doesn't understand. "I bet nothing like what you imagined, right? I bet it felt horrible and now you're just on another stupid quest for the same unsatisfying thing! When will it end, Sasuke? When?"

"When I've died and gone to hell," I say loudly. I'm not even thinking anymore. I'm just speaking.

"No!" he shouts. "No! I won't let you!"

I sneer. As if he has the power to decide that! He reads my sneer perfectly. "Stop fighting it, Naruto. We were always meant to be enemies," I begin saying.

"No," he interjects.

I keep talking as if he's said nothing. "We were always meant to fight in the end."

"No," he repeats.

I continue. "We're rivals, just as we were always fated to be."

"No!" he shouts.

I ignore him. "So get off of me and fight me like a man!"

"No!" he screams and starts to cry. I don't even want to admit it to myself but it pains me to see him do that. Typical Naruto, getting too involved in things that he shouldn't.

I should be cold and numb but I'm not. I can't be, not to him. I see those tears and it rips me up inside. I want him to stop crying. I don't want to but I have to kill him. If he hadn't gotten in my way, then I wouldn't have to but he did. He got in my way and now I have to suffer the pain of killing my best friend, the only person I've ever loved. I guess I loved Itachi, too, after he told me everything but not as surely as I love Naruto. As much as we butted heads, I love him. He was my best friend. He still is. He's here, putting his life on the line just to save me but, as much as I want to go with him, I have to fight for Itachi.

"We don't have to do exactly what they expect of us, do we?" he asks.

"I'm only doing what I expect of myself," I say. I'm not even sure if I believe it. I'm not sure of anything anymore. If he released me, would I honestly kill him or would I turn and run like a coward from this clearing? I'm surprised when he does release my wrists. He moves off of me and sits on his knees, staring down at the ground. I have a moment of hesitation. Fighting or fleeing, I _do_ need my weapon still, so I stand up and retrieve my katana. I, then, throw all of his kunai to his side. I question my actions for a moment. What will I do? "Fight," I demand.

"No," he whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear. My head is starting to spin, if I don't get this over with, I'll pass out. I've decided to fight, so I'm going to fight goddamnit and he's going to fight back.

"Fight," I command him louder. He shakes his head.

"No," he repeats. I don't have time to argue but I can't kill him unarmed.

"I'll kill you, regardless," I threaten and I feel like I mean it. I have to avenge Itachi.

"Then, kill me," he says quietly. "I'd rather be dead than keep living this life. It's meaningless, Sasuke. It's empty." I'm silently shocked and I just watch him, an ache growing ever larger in my chest. Now, I'm not so sure that I meant it. I want him to live. I want him to grow old and be happy but if he insists on trying to stop me, I can do nothing but kill him, right? If I must kill him, I'd rather he not fill me with these childish emotions that I had thought I left far behind me. I'd rather he stop confusing me. He continues on, though. "You, you're always running, chasing after death. Me, I'm always following, chasing after you. You fight because you think it's your duty—"

"It is," I snap but he continues, unperturbed.

"I chase because I think it's _my_ duty—" he goes on.

"It's not," I interject half-heartedly, feeling stupid affection for this boy who feels so obligated to me but I don't think he hears the weakness in my voice because he just keeps talking.

"But what _are_ our duties, Sasuke?" he asks, still looking down at the ground. "What have they _ever_ been? Were they once to laugh and play as children? That's something neither of us did much of, not as lonely as _we_ were. Were they once to learn and train as ninja? That's something we both did well, I think. Were they, then, to protect those that we love? I think that has always been our duty, Sasuke, just to protect those that we love."

"That's what I'm doing, Naruto," I say flatly. Although, I can't help but think that it's a lie. I'm not protecting Naruto, am I? I can't voice that opinion, though. Hell, I can't even think it. I shouldn't be thinking it.

"No," he says, finally looking up at me. "No, you are not. Can you protect a clan that's dead? No, you cannot. You were a child. It was _never_ your responsibility to protect them and, certainly, never to darken your hands with blood for them. Can you protect a brother that's passed? No, you cannot. You were meant to find peace in his words, Sasuke, not bloody your hands further. None of that was _ever_ your duty but you pursued it, nonetheless."

"And I was never _your_ duty," I retort. Again, my words are weak and free of conviction but I don't think he notices this time either.

"But you were," he argues. "You were my responsibility since the day that we met and I was yours. I like to think that I still am."

"FIGHT ME!" I scream. I'm seeing where this is going and I want it to end before it begins. I'm exhausted emotionally and physically. I don't want to hear anymore. I'm too confused and I said it before, I am weak. I don't want him to go too far and defeat me with his words. I am already at war with my emotions, emotions that I thought I had lost long ago. I cannot fight this verbal battle, too.

He continues on, regardless. "I held a duty to protect you, Sasuke, because I love you. You loved me, too. You still do," he says.

"FIGHT ME!" I scream again. Though, it's feeble. I've lost my ability to stand and buckle down to my knees. My head is spinning into unconsciousness. I can feel it. My body is betraying me.

He still continues to speak. "You cannot escape that, Sasuke. You will always have a duty to me, if to no one else, then always to me. We were never enemies. We were always a pair. Now, if you want to kill me for some fruitless path to misery, then, by all means, kill me but I will not fight you. Up until now, I have been fighting to save you. I can fight no more. I have lost my strength. If you are a decent man, you'll save me the pain and just strike me down. Can you do that?"

He asks me the golden question. Can I do that? Can I kill him? Excuse of not killing an unarmed man aside, can I ever truly kill Naruto? I don't know. I think that the answer is no but it _has_ to be yes. I _have_ to kill him to get by him and if I don't get by him, I'll never be able to right the wrongs done to Itachi. I may love Naruto but what kind of man would I be if I didn't love my brother more? How can I pass up the opportunity to avenge my brother simply because it's hard to kill someone along the way?

I want to scream, to shout, and to argue but it's difficult. I've always known that this was a fruitless path, I think. What has revenge ever gotten me? I knew it would bring me nothing but I followed that path anyway because I was angry and once I had left Konoha, I had no choice. I had set a standard that I had to adhere to just by leaving the village. I was alone. No one could save me. I lost myself the day that I left and I have never been able to meander back. I realize now that all of this time, Naruto has been trying to guide me but I have been blinded by anger, claiming he couldn't understand me but he did. He always understood and he followed close behind me, trying to protect me, despite how wicked I have been. I'm feeling lost, defeated, and afraid, so I feign anger. It's the best thing that I know how to do.

"Fuck you!" I shout but it sounds meek and noncommittal.

He smirks but there's no true mirth in it. "I thought so," he says quietly. I can feel the relief radiating off of him, knowing that I can't kill him. I wonder if he feels the misery leaking off of me. I wonder if he understands the aching war going on in my chest. "You don't have to come back with me," he says quietly. I can't tell if I'm shocked, relieved, or disappointed. "We can go somewhere else," he explains. He crawls over to me quickly and takes my katana from my hand, throwing it away. The look in his eyes is heart wrenching. It's hopeful and they're sparkling but it's exactly how I feel too. "We can go anywhere but back to our lives. We can be new people. We can be happy, together."

I feel myself start to fall sideways and he catches me. I'm losing consciousness fast now. It feels nice to feel his touch and I imagine us living together in the wilderness somewhere. He'll try to catch fish with his hands and he'll be really bad at it but, at least, he'll cause the fish to jump so I can get them with chidori. He'll insist on making it into ramen, too. He'll try every other fishing trip to make it but he'll suck at making ramen and he'll let me cook, in the end. He'll snore really loud and kick me off of the bed most nights but I won't mind because it's funny. He'll always wake up late but I won't mind that, either, cause I like the way his hair tussles when he rolls out of bed. I might let that slip once and he'll never comb his hair purposely just to make me happy. We'd be happy, wouldn't we?

Every day I would feel this touch. Every day I would feel loved. I try to nod in agreement. I want to go, Naruto. Take me. I feel his arms tighten around me and I'm sure he can hear me, even though I'm sure I'm not speaking. Of course he can hear me. It's Naruto. Even after so many years of running away from him, from Konoha, he still reads me like a book. I'm just able to let one last thought slip out.

"You're not weak," I say. "You're strong." I think he smiles but everything is too blurred to really tell.

His warmth is closing in on me and I'm lulled off into a deep sleep. I only hope that I wake up in a deserted cabin somewhere and not in the heart of Konoha. I only hope that he takes me far away from our lives and I can wake to nothing but his big, stupid smile.


	2. Take Me Home (Part II)

**A/N:** This is an extension of what was supposed to be a one-shot. Now it's a two-shot and it will be _no more_ than that. This is specifically for my dear **ShikiRima4eva-doublesided** for being probably my biggest fan. I really appreciate your support Shiki xD You are the shit! If you ever have any requests, don't be afraid to ask me! I'll write anything for you just because you've been so good to me :) I hope you enjoy it.

**Warning:** There is some bad language in this fic. There is also the mildest yaoi ever. Maybe they kiss. Maybe they don't. You'll have to find out, won't you? :)

**SPOILER ALERT:** If you aren't up to episode 86 in the anime or chapter 260 in the manga, don't read. I'm not sure if that information is actually _perfectly_ right but it's the best guess that I have. To make it a bit easier, if you don't know what special skill Jiraiya and Naruto share, don't read this. You'll find out eventually. Of course, if you've read the previous part of Take Me Home, then you already know what other spoilers lay ahead.

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**Take Me Home (Part II)**

Sasuke shifts and I hold my breath. Is he gonna wake up? I watch him intently for a few seconds until I deduce that he's not waking up. I sigh. I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. In truth, I don't know what the fuck I'll say to him when he _does_ wake up. Fuck, I don't even know if he'll stay long enough for me to say anything. I kind of just took a gamble with him. He was passing out, so I scooped him up and ran.

Sure, it was a bit reckless. People will start missing me real soon. Sakura is probably already suspicious. She's kept a real close eye on me since _that day_ so long ago when Sasuke… you know… left. I can't blame her. I _have_ been a wreck. I've been chasing him all over the place, hoping to get an audience with him and… well… I don't know. What, convince him to come home? As if he could ever really do that. He's a missing-nin. He's wanted for a lot of crimes in a lot of different places. I chased him anyway though, convinced that I'd just know what to do when I finally caught up to him.

Word got to me that he was on a mission to destroy Konoha and I knew that I had to protect the village. More importantly though, I had to protect Sasuke. Even if he has grown, there's no way he could walk away alive. They would kill him and if they didn't, they would capture him and _then_ kill him. I couldn't let that happen and I couldn't let him harm even one person in the village either, so I set up posts all around Konoha to watch for him. I've had shadow clones keeping an eye out for him. I've been at it for days. It's been tiring work, but it finally paid off when I caught Sasuke approaching.

I didn't have time for nerves. Before I knew it, we were intersecting in a clearing in the woods and, before I even had time to speak, he was attacking me. I defended myself at first, but I soon figured out that I'd really have to fight back, so I did. We were pretty evenly matched, except he was losing more blood than me. It's the kyuubi chakra that saved my ass, really. Otherwise, we _both_ might have been passed out in that clearing right now, just waiting for Sakura to find us.

That would be bad. Sakura of _all_ people can never find us. She once loved Sasuke, but that was a long time ago. Things have since changed. Sasuke has become such a villain to her and it's not because of all of the things that he's wanted for. It's because of something very different, something much more personal to her. It's because of me. Sakura and I grew close over time. It was inevitable. I eventually stopped chasing her tail when I had Sasuke to obsess over. Somewhere along the way, she and I became like brother and sister. I don't know when I realized it, but everything changed when I decided that I was… I was _in love_ with Sasuke. Sakura was the one to point it out actually, and she was very scornful about it at first.

So there it is. I've been in love with Sasuke probably forever and… he's just been off leading his miserable life without me. That's why Sakura hates him. She hates him for hurting me. If _she_ finds us, she'll show him no mercy, even if that means breaking my heart. Sakura would have Sasuke killed in an instant, just to protect me. Although, I think it has more to do with punishing him than protecting me. I know it _is_ out of love though. It's not her fault that she hates him; it's his. In any case, Sakura _cannot_ find us.

That would ruin everything but really, what is there to ruin? I have no plan. Fuck, I don't even know where we are. I just ran until I found some shabby cabin. We'll probably have to move when Sasuke wakes up. We might have to just keep on moving for the rest of our lives. We may never get to settle and… I don't know… relax. Hell, I'm talking like Sasuke will _want_ to stay with me. Who do I think I am? We _are_ talking about the guy who has wanted nothing to do with me for years now.

Sasuke shifts and I hold my breath again. He mumbles something incoherent and sighs. I release my breath. Still asleep. He looks so peaceful this way. He's smirking a little bit in his dreams too. It makes me forget the nerves. Fuck it if he doesn't want to stay, at least I got this time with him, right? At least while he's asleep, I can pretend that things are as I wanted them to be. I can't, and don't want to, fight the urge to brush a lock of hair out of his face. His cheeks redden when my fingers brush his skin and I find myself blushing too. I go a step further and run my fingers through his hair. He sighs again and turns his still sleeping face toward me. I swallow a huge lump in my throat. Oh my god. I really love him. He moans lightly and takes a shallow gasp before rolling onto his side. When he rolls, he grimaces and grunts in pain. I think that will be enough to wake him but it doesn't. He just settles onto his back again.

"Sasuke?" I whisper. He doesn't stir. "Sasuke, I want you to wake up," I say. Nothing. I think I prefer it this way though. Maybe I can just practice what I should say. "I want you to wake up and smile at me." Dead silence. "I want you to tell me that… that you love me too." It feels right to say those things but I know I'll just go blank when he really wakes up. "I want you to stay by my side." Silence. Woah. Wait. Scratch that. Fucking scratch that.

"Naruto," Sasuke mumbles, shifting slightly. I wait a long time, wondering if he's awake or not. I decide that he's definitely not awake. "Naruto," he repeats and my breath hitches. What is he dreaming about me? "Stay," he breathes and my heart skips a beat. Stay? Stay? What does that mean? I don't know, but I talk back anyway, like he can even hear me.

"I'm never leaving you, Sasuke," I whisper and he _smiles_. He fucking _smiles_. My heart stops. That's a smile that I haven't seen in… well… shit… I don't know how long! Even before he left, he wasn't happy like that. He hadn't laughed or smiled in ages. I imagine that he hasn't smiled much, if at all, since leaving either and yet, here he is, mumbling my name and smiling. I kind of feel like throwing up. His smile is just so… beautiful. I gently touch his face and I know I've done it now because his expression dulls and his eyes start to flutter. I remove my hand quickly and start to panic.

He's waking up! He's waking up! He's waking up! He's waking up! What do I do?! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! What do I do?! He's looking at me! He's looking at me! He's looking at me! What do I do?! OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT DO I DO?! My eyes must be shouting because he quirks a brow at me before speaking.

"Calm down," he says quietly. His voice is a little raspy. In my opinion, that just makes it sexier. Ugh! Why am I thinking that at a time like this? I'm so preoccupied that I forget to answer him. "Calm down," he repeats. I still don't answer. I can't read him. His face is emotionless and I bet mine is just speaking volumes. He grabs my hand that's resting idly on the bed and repeats himself yet again. "Calm down." My heart shoots off into space. I actually start breathing really hard and my vision starts swimming. Holy shit, I'm really fucking nervous. I'm really freaking out!

"I… I… I… I…" I begin stammering like a broken record, not even sure if there _is_ an end to that sentence or even a _second word_.

"Calm down," he says again, stressing the words. I take a huge breath and release it with a giant puff. I try to take his advice, but it's hard. After a long time of me trying to breathe properly and him just watching me blankly, I get pretty much back to normal. "Where are we?" he asks. The combination if his intense eyes and his husky voice causes me to fluster again.

"I-I don't know," I say. "S-Somewhere in the woods, far away from anyone."

"Did you clean up your tracks?" he asks and I'm quiet for a minute as the question processes. Tracks. Clean. Shit! No! No, I didn't! My eyes must tell the story for me. "We have to go then," he says simply. "Quickly, before they find us."

"There's no guarantee that they're looking," I blurt out, but I know that it's a stupid statement. Sakura is definitely looking. She knows that I've been waiting for Sasuke. She'll have told the entire village and sent people out looking for us to make sure I'm alive and that Sasuke is dead. I sigh. "You're too weak to go," I try again. He tries to move and winces loudly. I grimace with him. "See?" I say softly. "It hurts."

"I'll get over it," he bites out, his eyes still clenched shut. I watch him slowly sit upright and grimace all the while. I feel like I can feel his pain. I wish he'd just lie down. He just needs to rest… but they _are_ looking for us and I _am_ the dumbass who didn't cover his tracks. This is my fault.

"Where will we even go?" I ask. He shrugs.

"Who fucking cares? Anywhere that people aren't," he says.

I look away. We both stay silent for a moment longer before I hand him his shirt, which he puts on slowly. I gather our things and hold my hand out to help him up. He takes it hesitantly and stands. I walk a few feet away and dare him to follow with my eyes. He tries valiantly but ends up staggering, so I'm at his side and catching him instantly, of course. He refuses to look at me though. I suspect he feels embarrassed and ashamed. I don't want to ridicule him, so I just hoist him up on my back and leave the cabin. I make a shadow clone to clean up after me and start running. Where? I don't know. I just run and hope that I'm not hurting Sasuke too much.

* * *

I walk over to the bed and hand Sasuke a steaming bowl of soup. He sits up slowly and takes it, setting it in his lap. I eat my own soup across the cabin at the table. We've been here for two days. This is our fourth stop. We've just been finding random places to crash for a few days at a time while Sasuke heals. Once he's better then… well… I don't know. He doesn't look at me often. He sleeps most of the time. I've stopped trying to make small talk and that's pretty much eliminated the need for me to give him that epic speech I was so worried about coming up with. I sometimes catch him staring in my general direction, but I have no idea if that actually has anything to do with _me_. He often smiles in his sleep and _only_ in his sleep.

I sigh as I eat my soup. I hate this. I hate it so much. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted something different. I guess I wanted a fucking fairytale and I was stupid for that. Did I actually think that I'd get it? Did I actually think that we could just be together, like nothing had ever happened? What a fucking joke! I'm such a fucking idiot! I get so angry at myself that I accidentally knock my bowl onto the ground. It breaks with a loud crash and Sasuke startles. He looks over at me but I'm too busy being infuriated to really take notice of that. Why can't Sasuke just love me? Why can't Sasuke just… just… I don't know! Just fucking _talk_ to me!

"Naruto?" Sasuke says and I whip my head up to look at him. Did I say that out loud? He just stares at me and I look at him expectantly. What Sasuke? What is it? What do you want? Tell me! Tell me! Talk to me! I get a bit excited as I swear that I see something positive flashing through his eyes. "I'm thirsty," he says flatly. I stare at him for a long time before moving. I throw a canteen at him and leave the cabin. I need some fucking air.

* * *

Sasuke and I barely speak at all now. He asks me for shit and I just give it to him. He can move around better now. It _has_ been a month. He looks at me even _less_, if that's fucking possible. I'm watching him sit out in a clearing as he peacefully watches the clouds. We've been here for two days now. This is our tenth stop. We spend about two to four days at each place, depending on how eager he is to move on. He makes all those decisions.

I'm sure of it now; I'm just Sasuke's ticket to freedom. He's just using me because he knows I'll keep him safe. Once he's able, he'll fucking leave me again. He'll run away and probably go destroy Konoha for his stupid fucking revenge. I growl to myself. Fuck Sasuke! Why do I even love him?! I should fucking kill him! I should just… I should leave him here! I won't though. I know I won't. He's right. I _will_ protect him. I _will_ take care of him until he's healthy enough to run away and leave me all alone. I sigh heavily and I see his head move an inch to catch a glimpse of me over his shoulder. I roll my eyes and turn to walk away.

I take a long walk through the trees. What kind of life have I gotten myself into? What will I do once Sasuke leaves? I can't just go home and say that I ran away with him for a few months but now I'm back, so it's okay. Sakura will fight it for sure, but I could very well be a missing-nin by now, too. They have no idea what happened to me. All they know is that Sasuke and I fought in the clearing, we both spilled blood, then _I_ ran to that cabin, and we _both_ disappeared. It looks like I'm working with him now. Well, I am… but that's not the point. The point is that I've just ruined my life for that bastard. I give a tree a good dose of rasengan. I've risked everything for that asshole and he's just using me. I offer another tree a taste of my anger. I've loved him relentlessly for years and for what? Nothing! I put another hole through another tree.

I feel like killing something but, instead, I just sit down and have a good cry. The despair is stifling. As angry as I am at Sasuke, I'm sadder than anything. I deluded myself into some stupid fantasy that we could never actually share and now I have to face the facts that it's all impossible. I just… I just want to be with him. Why is that too much to ask for?

* * *

I've got a tighter grip on my emotions now. Sasuke talks to me, but only in short bursts. It's been three months now and Sasuke is a lot better, though he still has some pains. We walk at a slow pace now, instead of me carrying him. We've built our own shelter this time. Correction, _I_ built _Sasuke_ a shelter. I don't sleep in there with him. I sleep by the fire, and he doesn't seem to give a fuck. I try to pretend that he's _not_ going to leave me but I also won't let myself believe that he's going to _stay_. I just try to focus on the here and now. I don't think I've felt that giddy joy of being around Sasuke in about two months now. That's all been lost. I'm not even sure that I love him anymore.

Well… that's a lie. I do love him. I love him a lot. I just hate him too. Well, I don't _hate_ him. I understand him, so that makes it hard to hate him. He's had a hard life, not that _I_ haven't had a hard one _too_, but that's not the point. The point is that he's had it rough and he's just trying to find some peace. He's lost. He's confused. He's angry. If I was him, would I honestly have done things any differently? If I was him and he was me and I had known that someone like him loved me, then yes, I would have done things a whole lot differently… but I'm not Sasuke and Sasuke isn't me.

Sasuke doesn't even know how I feel, so I can't blame him, can I? He left without understanding how much I needed him. Perhaps, if he _had_ known back then, he would have stayed. _That_ Sasuke definitely would have stayed. _That_ Sasuke wasn't hardened and calloused by the miserable things that _this_ Sasuke has faced, but _this_ Sasuke is the Sasuke that I'm stuck with now. So I find it hard to be truly resentful of him. He's just playing the cards that he's been dealt. Is it his fault he was served such a life? No.

I only wish that I could have saved him. I wish that I could have stopped him from ever having been forced down this wretched path. I could save him now, if he'd let me, but he won't. He'll never love me back, at least, not in the way that _I_ love _him_. He doesn't even know that my love goes further than a brotherly love. I never explained that to him, and I don't think that I ever will. I think I'll just let him go in peace, if it'll make him happy.

I vacantly wonder what he dreams about at night that's always causing him to smile. Whatever that is, I'd like to know so I could give it to him. Then, he could be happy.

* * *

"Naruto?" Sasuke asks softly as we're sitting by a fire that he built.

He's almost completely healed now. It's been seven months. He's been a lot more comfortable around me for the past few months and he's not opposed to looking at or talking to me anymore. It means nothing to me though. I know he should be leaving me any day now. He's been capable of leaving for a couple of months now. I think he's just dragging it out for some stupid reason. Maybe he's just torturing me. Like I said, it's some stupid reason that I don't know.

Lately, however, he's been… nice. He's been smirking at me openly. He's been talking to me softly. He almost always whispers to me, instead of talking normally. He's even told a few jokes that I've laughed at, even if I didn't want to. I don't want to feel happy in his company because I know it's not mine to keep. I feel so conflicted though. I've wanted to leave him so many times, to just disappear in the middle of the night, to save myself the pain of being abandoned. I've tried over and over again, but I always look at his smiling face in his slumber and I can't move. So, I stay. I allow a long moment to pass before I answer Sasuke.

"Yes?" I finally say, staring into the flames, and he shifts a little closer to me. I pay that no mind.

"Where do you want to go?" he asks. I shrug.

"I don't know," I say dispassionately.

"Sure you do," he urges. "Where?" I look at him with a raised brow.

"Why?" I ask skeptically. What is he getting at?

"So I can take you," he says, _smiling_ at me. My brow rises a great deal higher. He's smiling at me while he's _conscious_. What the fuck? "I'm better now, so we can go anywhere. We don't have to keep hiding in the shadows, since I can take better care of myself." I look back into the flames and snort.

"Whatever," I grumble. I don't really want to hear what he's saying. It's not real. His kindness… his warmth… it isn't real.

"What?" he asks softly, touching my arm. The action angers me to no end.

What the fuck is he doing? After all of this time, he's being… sweet! What the fuck?! Why is he doing this to me? If he's going to leave, then he needs to leave! He _is_ going to leave, right? _Of course_! Right? This game is stupid. It's sick and fucked up! He needs to fucking fuck off and just get this over with! He _has_ been using me, hasn't he? He… he has… right? _Right_? I shake my head vigorously and stand to go for a walk and clear my mind. I'm getting too worked up over this little mind game he's playing. What, is he trying to confuse me before he disappears? I honestly hope that he's gone when I get back. He grabs my elbow firmly though to keep me from leaving, and he stands too.

"Let me go," I demand.

"Why?" he argues. I sneer and wrench my elbow from his grip. I start walking away but he follows. "Wait!" he demands. I keep walking briskly. "Wait!"

"NO!" I scream, whirling around to face him and fighting the urge to punch him. "I will _NOT_ wait, Sasuke! I'm tired of fucking waiting!" He stares at me with wide eyes before I go on emotionally. "I've been waiting for years! I waited when you left, waited for you to come back to me! I waited and waited and _waited_… but you never came! I had to chase you down and even then, you didn't want to come! I had to knock you out and drag you!" He looks defiant but I don't give him the chance to voice any of his opinions. "I've been waiting for months now, too! I've been waiting for you to just _leave_ already or else…" I trail off, unwilling to say the rest. It's just too painful to say out loud.

"Or else what?" he asks quickly, looking ridiculously eager to hear me finish. I shake my head no. "Or else _what_?" he repeats urgently, as if the unspoken words are his life source. I find that really strange, but I still don't want to tell him. "_Please_," he very nearly begs and I grit my teeth. God! Fuck him for looking so… needy! I have the urge to hug him or something and make that look of concern disappear. It pisses me the fuck off, so I just answer him out of anger for the way that he's making me feel.

"Leave or just fucking love me back already!" I shout. I look pointedly at the ground as I begin to cry. Fuck me for being such a whimp. I'm too emotional and he's too… _not_. Despite his oddly reactive state right now, _he'd_ never cry like this. I am though. I'm crying like a baby! "If you… If you're never gonna love me," I choke out, "then please just _leave me alone_. I took care of you. I fixed you. I protected you. You're safe. You're healthy. Now just _go_."

"Just wait a second," he says and I shake my head no.

"I'm turning and I'm walking away," I say, looking up at him through bleary eyes. "What you do is solely up to you, but if you walk after me, you'd better _never_ turn your back on me again; and if you talk to me, you'd better mean _every_ fucking word you say; and if you kiss me, you'd better taste it like it's the fucking _air you breathe_. Or else… Or else just go the fuck away!" I turn abruptly and begin walking away. I pick up the pace gradually until I'm sprinting wildly.

I run for what seems like miles, blundering through thick forestry and earning myself cuts and bruises all over my body, but I don't care. My eyes are so clouded with tears and my heart is so heavy with misery that I could die right now and not even care. I finally stop running when my lungs are in a full uproar and my mind is threatening to black out. I slow to a halt and fall straight to my knees. I don't have any breath left to cry, but I sob anyway and bury my face in my hands. I don't know how long I sit like that before I feel a hand on my shoulder. I don't even care. Whoever it is can kill me. I don't care.

"I…" the person begins and I sob even harder because it's Sasuke. He… He followed me. "I…" he starts again before he's interrupted by his own panting. "It's… my… turn… to… chase… you… Na… ru… to…" he says slowly, panting heavily between each syllable. I cry harder. "I… won't… leave… I… I'll… s-stay…" he says and falls to his knees beside me. The words are hard to accept. Does he mean them? Eventually, the sobbing slows until I'm not crying at all anymore. I finally peer up at him through my fingers once my breathing has leveled out. His breath has returned to him too. "I want to stay," he assures, as if he's just been waiting for me to give in so that he could tell me again. I purse my lips and wrinkle my nose.

"Liar," I say simply and he snorts. I look away but he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

"I've been praying that you _wouldn't_ come to your senses about how fucking _stupid_ this all is and leave me," he says. I'm about to protest but he charges on. "I've been hoping selfishly that you would stay with me. After it seemed like you _weren't_ leaving, I found it easier to indulge in you again. It's been seven months and you're still at my side, so… so I thought it was time I stop doubting you and start believing in… _us_." His eyes start to sparkle and I'm entranced. "I thought it was time that things change, Naruto, because I _do_ love you and I _do not_ want to go _anywhere _without you."

He stares me down for a long moment, searching me for any sign of a response. He won't get it though, because I'm frozen. I'm absolutely shocked. Were those truly the words that I've been waiting to hear for years? Did he really just say that to me? Is he truly going to stay? Can this really be happening? I can't do anything but stare. After a while, his gaze grows panicked and I force myself out of my stupor. An instant grin stretches across my face and I find that it's met with that same smile Sasuke has been sporting in his sleep. My heart flutters. Maybe this is what Sasuke has been dreaming about. Maybe we've really shared the same dream all of this time and just never known. That doesn't matter now though. What matters is where we go from here… and I want to go to anywhere that Sasuke is.

Right now, however, Sasuke is a good six inches or so away from me. That just won't do. I tear my gaze from his captivating eyes and lock my own sights on my destination. I instinctively lick my lips. Sasuke parts his just slightly in response and I feel my eyes drooping heavily as my body starts to travel. Sasuke must have begun moving too, because it only takes about half of a second before our bodies meet. Hands fly to hair and grip shirts; chests press against each other; and lips mold together. All the while, my brain explodes from a mix between euphoria and blissful fucking ecstasy. We part after what feels like an eternity and I instantly miss the warmth of his lips. He rests his forehead against mine.

"You've taken me home, Naruto," he says softly and I fight the urge to cry again.

It's just a simple statement, but it's _everything_. It's what I've been so desperate to do for years now. It's Sasuke's way of telling me that I don't have to struggle anymore. It's his way of assuring me that I've finally caught up and I don't have to watch his back retreating any longer. Now we can stand side by side, hand in hand. We've _both_ been searching our entire lives for our purpose, but the search is over. We've _both_ found a place to belong and as long as we stay together, that home will follow us wherever we go. We stand and I hug him for the first time in… I don't want to think about how long, and I don't feel like I can _ever_ let him go again.


End file.
